Europe Trip March – April 2025

Getting there

So having turned the wrong direction coming out of the business lounge in Singapore, G and I found ourselves running to the plane to Paris. We arrived at the gate breathless, then were told Peter’s seat had gremlins and needed to be fixed. The end result was we were moved in business class to just outside the toilets. Admittedly not as foul as cattle class, (a better quality poo I imagine), but still got to examine a vast collection of ‘hurry up I’m busting’ jigs from around the globe as punters clenched whatever they could waiting their turn. Paris in a couple of hours thank the lord.

Paris

Contemplating Paris with the first day almost done. A two hour drive from the airport for a total of 30 ks set the scene. First impressions; lots of cool old buildings, nice looking cafes, quaint laneways. But…. Filthy dirty streets, and drizzling rain. We can only hope and pray tomorrow is sunshine and good times.

We scooted around Paris on foot all day today after a traditional breakfast of loverly croissants. We said hello to a few more icons before preparing for Rodin and Louvre tomorrow. The streets were damp, the atmosphere cold and uninviting despite working with reasonable temps of 5 to 12.

Finding ourselves absolutely buggered tonight from doing laps of the city. Dropped in on Rodin today to see how he did things. Fairly typical Frenchman as far as we could see. Mad as a cut snake, with a few women to keep him company and still managed to get paid for interesting work. We learned later his next door neighbour was Napoleon the second and his mum.

The Louvre ( definitely pronounced Louv rrrrre apparently) was a hit. We felt individually loved as one of 19 million to visit each year. Our guide was hoot. With a master’s in French history, and about 26 languages up her sleeve, she made our visit a cracking good three hours. To top of a good day we also had about 200 horses head down the road in some sort of parade to make the day a special one.

With a must do trip to Versailles on the cards, today we scrambled out of bed, trudged 40 minutes to the bus meeting point. It was stupid cold yet invigorating. Not seeing a bus we got sceptical and soon learned why. Our indigenous French guide, all the way from Poland, handed out our train tickets. As we followed her little red flag along the Metro platform, we felt like we were in kindy again. Arriving in Versailles, we were greeted with an over the top expression of elegance and pure waste of money. It’s no wonder the people loped the heads off Louis the some-number and his bride if they spent all the cash on this place. Actually the story goes that their relatives spent the money, they just copped the beheading. Watch out Albo this could be coming your way soon! After a super crowded tour with the guide going through the motions we were set free. Thank god. Another 25th century masterpiece and we would have slept standing up. Lesson; don’t do this place after the Louvrrrre! It’s like hopping out of your Bugatti into a Hilux ute. We found a bakery at half Paris prices, scoffed down some swirly things, took a pic of the bus that might have been and headed home. Not before a crepe or two.

Well if yesterday was cold, today was freezing. Freezing then wet and freezing then sleet, and a bit of hail freezing. 

We had a late breakfast opposite Notre Dame that came close to killing us. How hard is an omelette for god sake?

The highlight of the day came next with a visit to St Etienne’s cathedral. This is where the crypt of St Genevieve is located. Inside was beyond magnificent. The story of St G the same. Our G posed eloquently on the steps of her very own cathedral realising a dream come true.

Later we battled the dropping temps to visit, what was for us the least cool icon of Paris, being the Eiffel Tower. Big but not impressive. We did however begin new careers as photographers as it appeared we were the only ones who knew the vertical Panno trick to capture tall subjects with mobile phones.

Dinner was a sublime pizza with a backdrop of the Louvre. Off to Dubrovnik early tomorrow.

Croatia:

Dubrovnik:

Out of bed really early we said goodbye to Paris and jumped on the well-used Air France plane to Dubrovnik. The last half hour was like the final round of a bull riding event at a local rodeo. For a while there we didn’t think we’d ride the full 8 seconds in one piece. Safely grounded we mindlessly followed the guys in front through the terminal. Didn’t realise they only had hand luggage, so we found ourselves with our greeter outside the security area having forgotten to pick up our bags. Now apparently it is a small misdemeanour to go back into an airport the same way we exited! We know that now after the cranky man told us repeatedly, ‘it has taken a picture, now I have to write’. We remained silent and respectful admitting we were in fact dim wits, so he let us back in. Lesson learned. We were however, fleetingly imagining what type of cuisine they served in Croatian prisons.

Off to the hotel we went in a spanking Mercedes driven by a 45 year veteran of the Croatian military and police including years in the Balkan war. He showed us the hills he fought in just behind Dubrovnik. Humbling. 

The hotel and view was breathtaking. This part of town is stunning with quiet cafes and bars. G found a gin and tonic at the only bar that does not sell food. So glad we chose now to come here. Only 8 flights a day coming in. In summer it’s 90! We almost had the place to ourselves.

Today we headed off on bus number 4 to the Dubrovnik old town. Holy big stone walls Batman, this place smokes. We were blown away by the majesty of the town completely surrounded by walls with building beginning in the 12th century and lasting 500 years. We walked the entire city perimeter atop the walls, bouncing between ‘oh my god that’s spectacular’ and ‘oh my god this is so high I have a little bit of wee running down my leg’. Our afternoon was a bit lazy with G having wine and Peter going for a bush walk. The walk turned out to be a find a disused war tunnel walk. The hills were filled with them, so foot placement was critical, given there are likely a few unexploded devices still around. Off to Montenegro tomorrow.

Montenegro:

Our day trip to Montenegro was brilliant. We drove into the hills through border checks, because they are not EU mates, before checking out The Lady of the Rocks church on an island. Somewhere in there we dropped down into the City of Kotor, then into the old town surrounded by 12th century stone walls. G found an historic leather maker and grabbed a new jacket. Actually we think it was a bogus dealer using stolen lamb hide from Pakistan, but once she wears it a few times, no one will be able to tell. Then to a winery for food wine and a gut ache for P.

Split

Picked up at the hotel at 11am today was mostly a transport leg. We headed north towards Split for three or so hours looking at incredible coastlines and mountains. We saw the first snow covered landscape in the distance at one point. Finally we arrived in Split to our beautiful hotel. In the old town it is recently restored . It turns out Split is a long way from being as nice as Dubrovnik. Just doesn’t have the feel but does have every high end fashion shop known to man, woman. We lunched, walked and relaxed in the bitter cold.

Today we spent with a guide headed to Trogir. Another old town with walls, it spent its hay day shit scarred of the Turks over the hill and the pirates off the coast. All until Napoleon came along and beat the crap out of everyone. We then endured a history walk of Split that took us under the Castle to an area built in 305AD. We lucked upon preparations for a massive flower show so got the whole treatment. We finished with a viewing of a church dating back 1900 years complete with its stolen pillars and 3500 year old stolen Sphinx. Gotta love the Catholics. More than a few Hail Mary’s said over that affair I reckon. We ended the day with a walk up the hill behind the city in search of some lovely spots on the Dalmatian Coast.

With the same guide as yesterday, we choofed off to Sebinik and the Krka National Park. Sebinik, pronounced Scheninik because it’s got a little thing above the S, was a smashing little city with, you guessed it, an old town and big bad walls. It is also one of the rich and famous hang outs in summer. The national park is pretty much just a cracking waterfall and a bit of pre BC infrastructure including a water driven grinding mill. Our evening was full of entertainment as the Croatians were playing the French just up the street in soccer. No wonder they have soccer violence; the game starts at 9.30pm, so the fans were drinking and singing since early afternoon. What could go wrong? Still for us it was fun.

Plitvice Lakes:

A late breaky at our cafe next door had us fed for the three hour trip from Split to Plitvice Lakes. Our driver was a nice bloke but preferred passenger silence and listening to ABBA played by a philharmonic orchestra. Arriving mid-afternoon, our promised high end hotel…….wasn’t. Apparently all the amenities like outdoor gym, pool etc open in May. We had a late lunch, P went bushwalking. No unexploded ordinances this time, only a group of giggling young girls hogging the trail. Give me a bomb any day. Croatia won the footy last night, so everyone is happy today.

Driven in luxury to the park entrance we attacked the Plitvice Lakes National Park. We managed to keep our spot in front of the pushy bloke on our left and slide in a minute ahead of the big group from a continent north of ours, intent on taking selfies. We walked, we boated, we absolutely froze, and we walked some more. But mostly we stood in awe at the show nature put on. It was simply stunning.

Opatija:

Mid-afternoon we jumped in the flash Mercedes driven by Philip and headed to Opatija. Our hotel room overlooked a magnificent bay; if only the fog would go away so we could see it. In Opatija today for a day of relaxation and sightseeing. Short story is we went for three walks and got saturated each time. Probably a nice place in the sunshine. We did go to Roko restaurant for lunch having incredible risotto and pasta. As usual there was so much food dinner was a cup of tea.

Italy:

Venice

The clouds were heavy, dark and full of rain. Then they went. Our predicted very wet day of travel to Venice was a stunning day of sunshine. Our driver was a talker and a total crack up. He kept us entertained as we zoomed through Slovenia then into the flat lands of Italy.

Soon enough we jumped aboard the flash canal boat in Venice on our way to our accommodation. Then we dragged our bags across St Mark’s square, up the cobbles, up the steep stairs and into our lovely old room. The remainder of the day we spent looking at shops, dodging crowds and getting lost. We called it a day when G reached that ‘if one more person bumps into me, I’ll flog them senseless’ stage, but not before she rounded up a new wallet and a couple of set of new shoes. As for Peter, let’s just say Venice needs to lose only two things to be a great place…..people and shops!!! Otherwise it’s cool.

Venice on our second day continued to set the bar low a mostly failed to clear it. A recommended three island tour turned out to be a hideous waste of time and money. Always the trooper, G stood tall and rustled up a purchase at the Murano glass factory, then followed it up with a scarf as well. The afternoon got better as we walked well away from the city and found a locals café, got a snack before lucking upon the best prawn pasta we have ever eaten at a canal side restaurant. Hopefully tomorrow will bring some good moments so we don’t leave totally disappointed.

So finally Venice delivered. We chanced upon a great breakfast at a random cafe then began walking. About 14km later we had left the City behind and discovered the back streets where only the brave or lost go. We had a cracking good time in sunshine, hardly any crowds and a few swanky galleries. G scored a fancy jacket and Peter a jumper. Dinner at our now favourite place and life is good. And to top off a good day, we finally found The Merchant of Venice!!

Fun fact; the Gondola drivers earn 3000 euros per week.

Well what a day. We were out of bed early so we didn’t miss the train to Bologna. Overachieving meant we had scoffed breakfast, taken a ferry ride and still had 90 mins left to wait. Paying a few quid extra for a business class seat was worth it. We were fed and entertained. Pity the entertainment was a very woke south Australian mother explaining male gender stereotypes to her brat child.

Bologna

Bologna appeared soon enough with its grey skies and governmenty drab buildings. It seemed to have about the same number of dress shops that Venice has bag shops. Indeed, one was an entire premises of just lipstick ‘far cheaper than at home’.

Lunch was average with only seven brokers of umbrellas attempting to lure unused euro from our clutches. The eighth was going to be bashed by the umbrella we already had.

Afternoon drinks were an episode of faulty towers gone bad.

Entering the bar at the hotel we spotted Basil the manager sitting idle in the corner addressing his phone. After a bit Manuel appeared complete with black eye. We ordered drinks and sat quietly. After a while they appeared. Basil was motionless. As people traipsed in Basil finally leapt to his feet and all hell broke loose. Manuel disappeared presumably to be the cook. The pizza we ordered arrived . Our request to set the table such that we had half a chance of eat the food was met by less than eager cooperation. Our plates came . Our cutlery did not. Upon further request resplendent knives and forks lobbed up. Two knives for G and two forks for Peter! All the while Basil was scooting around managing things but achieving bugger all. By now we were prepared to pay good money for the show but decided to retire and await the next episode.

Better luck tomorrow.

Who would have thought that the staff at the famed Ducati factory would so closely align to their equally famed product. But they are. Both failing to work at the most inconvenient time!! A couple of hours trying to get anyone to answer their phone finally led to the realisation that the Ducati workers were on strike and Peters eagerly awaited tour would be replaced be a few hours exploring Bologna in the cold and sometimes drizzle. Not all bad, we discovered a fantastic lunch spot that served an indigenous Italian dish of fried chicken wings. After pasta and pizza almost every day we were in heaven. Our afternoon was spent quietly with Peter trying to stay on top of his usual holiday cold/flu. After last night’s episode we just had to visit Basil and Manuel again. Not sure why but Basil took one look at us, grabbed his backpack and headed out never to be seen again. Manuel had been replaced by at least his father, but maybe even grandad who spoke English as well as we stumbled across Italian. Lucky we all understood wine, coke and pizza. Tomorrow we tackle the multi-level Bologna train station and head to Florence.

Florence

Being just a little nervous about Italian trains we arrived way early at the station. We found the right platform and listened intently for any possible schedule changes. Yes our train was running 35 mins late. No problem. G suggested I look on the opposite side platform as her intuition reckoned something was wrong. Ok our train had changed platforms with no notification. No problem. Hang on that looks like our train with doors shutting. Peter ran his version of flat out to the official standing by the one open door. Showing our tickets he asked if this was the right train. In short grumpy man said it was as he snarled at us in the most unhappy voice. Half an hour later we popped up at Florence and were at our hotel 10 minutes hence. We took a walk to Pont Vecchio for 20 odd minutes then turned around and headed 30 minutes in the opposite direction to the Pont Vecchio!! There is absolutely no way of finding bearings in this place. The crowds are ridiculous. Every street has hundreds of marketeers all selling leather goods. So every street looks the same as the last. Still, Florence is everything Bologna wasn’t. The buildings are next level stunning. We found two leather jackets we can grab as a pair for a price you have to steal them for, from a reputable shop near our hotel. Maybe…..

Sunday in Florence appears to be a very busy day. We decided that we would jump online and grab a ticket to see the Statue of David. Try as we might online, acquisition was impossible. Not deterred, as it was still early we rocked up in person to buy a ticket at the entrance. If we took a conservative estimate and divided by three there was still over 1000 waiting to go in. We decided Dave would have to wait till another time to say g’day. No half naked man will make us wait that long. 

So it became a day of walking away from the city centre guided by the recommendation of the lovely lady in a restaurant. We headed to the Piazzale Michelangelo on top of a massive hill overlooking all of Florence. We finally got to see the Tuscan hills and snow on distant mountains. We shared the experience with not more than 2000 of our closest friends. Not deterred we visited the must see rose garden, Today it was just a garden; not a rose to be seen. G charged off up a hill beside the old town wall. It soon became a veritable mountain leading to stunning laneways and villas of the rich and presumably famous. We walked forever turning back only when we saw the border gate of the next country!! We quickly found a steep track that dropped us out not far from town. Finally making the decision, G grabbed herself a beautiful green lamb leather jacket and Peter followed up with another sacrificial baby sheep in brown. Dinner was a stab in the dark but served us some of best risotto and pork chops imaginable. More walking tomorrow; we still reckon Dave has done his dash so it may be a gallery or the like.

Still reeling from last night’s embarrassment of dropping a few euros into to the hat of an incredible opera singing busker only to learn he was lip sinking, we toddled off to see the town. First entertainment was watching a tour guide doing random circles holding his flag high looking for his flock only to find none. We determined the poor old bugger was probably in the wrong spot or town. Then we headed to the Ferragamo museum. Well ‘holy fancy footwear Batman’ this place was amazing. An entire history of this bloke and his designs was on display. G got in free by pulling the age card, whilst Peter was unfairly discriminated against for being younger. We were blown away by how good this place was.

Then, with hopes bursting, we both paid to see the Gucci museum. Absolutely no words could do this place justice. It started with a video completely unrelated to anything Gucci which was basically a young woman describing in explicit detail (every possible detail) having sex with an imaginary lover. Then there were a few ghastly handbags on display and not much else. We both left in disgust vowing never to buy anything Gucci again. Peter then found a cracking set of shoes so added them to the quiver. Our afternoon was spent at a roof top bar promising the best possible views of Florence. We can tell you the red roof tiles and rusting air conditioners make for a unique vista but that’s about it. Some people desperately need to visit the Coolum Surf Club to get perspective on what a good outlook is. The day ended at a favourite restaurant with a new waiter who was obviously Manuel’s cousin!! Off to Siena tomorrow.

Siena

Congratulations all round today for we caught the correct train to the correct destination and ultimately emerged to the comparatively desolate sidewalk of Siena. A quick taxi ride and we were 50 steep metres from our old, refurbished and quirky accommodation. We were presented with three keys to unlock a maze of doors leading to our room. A step outside let us know today was about 10 degrees lower than yesterday on the verge of uncomfortably cold. We spent the afternoon getting to know Siena. We now know it’s steep. Everything is a hill. We have a completely marble church outside our front door. And it has shops. Its saving grace is that it has hardly any people! Tomorrow we will try to organise a tour of the countryside for a look at a couple of the villages.

Feeling like a floppy bag of crap after not training much since we left home, Peter jumped out of bed early and headed to the cathedral steps just outside our front door. After ten sprints up and down coupled with a few other hill ascents, he left his lungs somewhere on the streets of Siena. Later on we decided to spend 21 euro on a tour of the cathedral because we needed yet another cathedral tour in our lives. The best 21 ever spent. We ended up climbing to almost the tallest point of the structure via tiny spiral staircases to the best view of Tuscany in all directions. They called it the Gates of Heaven tour, and they were not far wrong. To top it off we then dropped to the dungeons underneath to view 12th century wall paintings and a grave with a see through glass top. Our afternoon was spent looking leading us to another bag shop and custom made shoe shop.

Today ended up being a cracker. Peter did the, ‘get fit stair climbing’ thing again, learning that Italians don’t much like saying g’day to strangers running past at dawn. Strange!

Our driver, Kosmo, being a quality immigrant from Romania, was the perfect guide. He knew the area, history and politics of Italy and his homeland; educating us well. 

We headed out of Siena to Monteriggioni and San Gimignano. The first a beautiful tiny walled village measuring three steps wide by six long. The vistas from the top of the walls of the countryside was postcard perfect. The second was probably more beautiful, sitting high upon a hill dominating the landscape. Downside, you guessed it, shops and people.

After a walk around we headed literally two minutes to a very small family owned vineyard (correctly pronounced ‘wine yard’ according to Philippe the head bloke). What an experience. Even being a non-drinker Peter loved the details of how they made their small selection of high end wines. G tasted and tasted……a lot.

Lunch was cooked by Nona, and oh what a grand feed it was. Pasta, pork and potatoes followed by ice cream. We spent the later afternoon doing our club seal impersonations whilst the food finally settled. A good day.

Today, being our last full day on Siena was a pretty slack arrangement. We’d seen all we needed to, so set sail for a barber. We lucked upon old mate who spoke as much English as Peter did Italian. What looked like being a haircut only a mother could love, turned out to be a more than decent affair. G did a bit more shopping. Peter found the boot maker again, but he was not open. A quick web search proved there is a god as the old fellas’ hand stitched masterpieces apparently start at 900 euros escalating to 1600 and take 3 months to make. Not sure they were ever in our ballpark, but they were spectacular. We ended up outside the old town on top of yet another city wall as spectacular as ever. Tomorrow we head to Rome and whatever that brings.

Rome

Two mostly on time trains delivered us to Rome by mid-afternoon. We no wasted time in realising Rome is not that different from Paris. The river area near our hotel could be considered a near enough copy, if not a perfect one. Our planned guided tour of Castel Sant Angelo with a mob called Get Your Guide turned out to be a disappointment with Forget Your Guide. The guide was an app on our phones that didn’t work. Still we climbed a lot of steps, took lots of photos and generally got our bearings. After having the best pizza and ham and cheese toasted at the Siena rail station in the morning, we learned that Rome has as its signature dish absolutely disgusting desert. We walked off that swill in some beautiful alleys leading back to the hotel for a well needed rest. Tomorrow it’s the something gallery but a mere 60 minute walk away.

We headed out reasonably early today for the almost hour walk to the Borghese Gallery tour. We got there early, then waited and waited; met our fellow tour mates, waited, messaged the tour company and waited. Finally a crazy Italian lady turned up and we were away. Not that we like people being late, but the crazy lady almost made the experience worth it. She was quintessentially Italian with added flare and a very passionate art historian who knew all there was to know about the Borghese family. Short story is they were filthy rich then stopped working so became poor and had to sell everything. So all the brilliant works on display are copies of the real things now in private collection across world. 

We then headed to a roof top bar for a snack before trying to see the Trevi Fountain and Spanish steps. Pretty much a sea of people prevented but a glimpse of either, before it was time to revert to the sanity of the hotel. We found a cracker of a restaurant for dinner where we watched the world go by. Up early tomorrow to battle the Catholics at the Vatican.

Out of bed way earlier than usual today, we walked in four degrees to the Vatican. Unlike our last tour, the guide was there, we had time for a coffee, croissant and nervous pee. In the half hour before we entered, the crowd went from a few stragglers to an ocean of hopefuls. Thank had we had a tour. The parts we saw were not that crowded, save the Sistine Chapel that was packed to the rafters. We even got to see into the room where they hold the Conclave and select a new Pope. Tour over we had some of the worst pizza at the Vatican cafe (no wonder the pope was sick recently) before heading to St Peter’s square. We got within a couple of hundred metres before deciding to battle the heard was just not worth it for anything. Just for our friend Michelle, G went dress shopping and found one of the shops you mentioned with two young models outside wearing the product. She’ll buy one tomorrow.

Last night we ended up have dinner at this cool little place that served its food in a thick pocket bread. Gs’ chicken and Peter’s slow cooked meat equivalent were splendid. The highly recommend gelato around the corner was its equal. We walked home with Peter only nearly getting run over once by an animated lady waving her arms madly.

Today we headed over towards the Colosseum to have a look before our tour of the Roman Forum later on. We climbed some stairs to the best cathedral of the entire trip, and it was free! We had an outside look at the Colosseum as the crowds were ridiculous before lunching at a nice haven away from the madness. Once again tour group Forget Your Guide let us down. The promises on their website when we selected our tour simply didn’t eventuate. Our completely self-guided tour of the Roman Forum was however quite magnificent. Getting up high to overlook the ruins was worth the climb. Thankfully tomorrow we leave the crowds behind to venture out of town to a restaurant owned by a friend of a great friend at a town with a forgotten name.

Holy shit! Just realised it was our King Charles and Carmila who dropped in to the Colosseum when we were there today. We wondered who the old bloke was who kept waving to us. Bugger, was looking forward to saying g’day to Charlie.

What a fantastic day…. Eventually!! With the totality of our tasks today being to catch a train and have lunch, we were immediately challenged. We caught the train, got off where we needed to, caught the next train ( read the wrong train going in the completely wrong direction) and ended up in a lonely little station somewhere in the Italian countryside with no help evident. Retracing our steps we got back to the point of geographic confusion, caught another train and somehow got to Castel Gandolfo for lunch. This place is the summer residence of the Pope, but he was not on our train today. We climbed 400m up a steep hill to a restaurant called Pagnanelli. It’s been in the same family since 1882. The owner, Gabriele, is a friend of a friend. We were treated royally having some scrumptious food overlooking a stunning volcanic lake. To top it off, we got a tour of the 15000 bottle wine cellar lined with tools and trinkets gathered throughout the history of the restaurant. Getting home was easier with only one train to catch. We sit with full bellies after a great day. Tomorrow’s challenge, two more trains!

Cinque Terre

Being a travel day, today was pretty average for the most part. We taxied, we trained, we missed a train by literally one second. Not kidding we had our finger on the green door opening button when it turned red and the step retracted. Ten minutes later we were on track again with a manic Australian lady with two the biggest suitcases you could imagine. Off at Riomaggorie for our Cinque Terre adventure, we elected to taxi to our hotel. I think the meter is wired for altitude as a 1.6 km trip cost 15 euro. We were happy to pay as the walk up was quite a bit steeper than vertical. Our hotel is brilliant. We literally look down on everything. Given lunch had alluded us we decided upon an early dinner. Google told us the cafe we desired was but a couple of hundred metres away, so off we went. Almost an hour later we had been all the way back down to see level and back again only to figure Google’s doesn’t easily understand when locations are on top of each other. No exaggeration, that’s how steep it is. We finally chanced upon our cafe and the food was outstanding as was the entertainment from the owner’s little girl playing with her dog. Cold set in so we headed back to the hotel for tea and sleep. But not before accidentally whatsapping Peter’s sister at stupid o’clock Queensland time. Sorry Bron!!

How do we describe today. Frankly no words can come close but here goes. Now being locals we managed to find our way from Up Town to Down Town pretty easily. We jagged a few times before locating the coastal walking track between Riomaggorie and Manarola. Producing our passes, the lovely lady told us they were passes to everything except the track we wanted to walk on!! Back to the 20 deep line at the information office we went.

Now with passes in hand we were off. The track traced the coastline being stunning as it perched 60 or so metres above the water. To top it off we spent a bit of time watching a Helicopter deliver goods to the centre of Manarola from a base built into the cliff face near us. We had a leisurely breakfasts in Manarola before setting off on the equally stunning coastal path to Corniglia. Finally finding the track, we found ourselves high above town on a narrow dirt offering leading closer to the water. After half an hour or so we came to a closed track due to landslides. With no options left we climbed back up, found the alternate track and carried on. Within ten minutes we were both grasping blades of grass, grape vines, small children; whatever it took to stay stuck to the mountainside now hundreds of metres above the clear waters of the Ligurian Sea, full of nasty rocks just waiting for a tourist to fall. It is no exaggeration to say there may have been just a little bit of wee dribbling down at one stage. And this, as we found out, was not the steep or high part!! Up we went. We climbed rock stairs for the best part of a week before finally popping out at a small village for a well-earned Cornetto. We yarned to Stuart and Stuart’s wife who had moved from Melbourne to France to live because she they could not stand Daniel Andrews. They reckon they love it.

On we went again grabbing grape vines to stay hillside before plummeting down a slippery, rocky track into Corniglia for a pretty crappy lunch. Homeward bound we jumped the train back to Manarola then repeated the coastal walk. Because last night was so good, we returned to the same restaurant for dinner then collapsed. Our walk tomorrow is apparently harder than today, God help us.

Dinner at our favourite restaurant below our accommodation with our new American friends, rounded out yet another great day in Cinque Terre. We said goodbye to the owners with a bit of sadness as they had helped make this place a winner.

Our morning started with a train ride to Monterosso with the intention of waking back to Vernazza then to Corniglia, finishing the day with a train ride back home.

Monterosso turned out to be a lovely seaside place, just waking up. We had a grouse breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast before heading off on the walking trail. 

The advice that this trail was much harder than yesterday’s was not at all true, but the initial 400 metres of steps straight up the mountain still stung the legs. The track was busy and not as picturesque as yesterday. We continued to marvel at the way these slopes are farmed with only a flimsy toothed monorail every now and then used to carry stuff up and down. Dropping down into Vernazza proved popular opinion to be spot on. It is truly beautiful. It did however contain thousands of one of the two great evils…..people! Thankfully the shops were so trashy not even G entered but one with any intent.

By now we were spent. We had no intention of climbing the mountains again so opted for the train back to Riomaggorie. Tomorrow we head to Santa Margherita for a couple of nights.

Santa Margherita

In a major turn of events we were out early catching trains like pros, not missing one on the way to Santa Margherita. For once the Italian equivalent of the BOM was spot on with the prediction of rain. It rained all day.

We braved the wet streets of Santa Margherita learning they were dominated by restaurants and fancy dress shops. This all made sense when we noticed every second car was a Ferrari, Lamborghini or Audi R8 all headed to Portofino just down the track. We intend to walk or catch the bus tomorrow to see how the high class holiday. 

Not sure this place will be on the ‘come back and see’ list as it is essentially pretty second hand with its blue/grey stone beaches. Hopefully tomorrow changes our minds.

With the intention of walking to Portofino this morning, we woke to rain with the forecast of more throughout the day. Off to the information hub we headed to grab a ferry ticket. Greeted by Basil’s younger sister, we were quickly dismissed with flick of the hand towards the ferry terminal. Off we went to be met by a sign that clearly demonstrated why punctuation is so important. In hand scribble it said, ‘Cancelled for group tours only’. No dramas, we were nothing like a group tour. Soon enough we realised a comma dropped in the right place would have given us the true meaning. We were not joining the boating fraternity today!!

Back to the information hub. G’s turn this time. After a fair time she came out in fits. Apparently amongst all the mayhem of Basil’s sister trying her hardest to get rid of filthy tourists, an old lady’s chihuahua decided to bite the hell out of the leg of the bloke ahead in the line. For G it was right up there with her favourite Monty Python dead parrot skit. We relived it many times throughout the day.

Finally we got to Portofino by bus. How to describe this place. It’s pretty in a one shot postcard sort of way. It’s got a few very high end clothing shops. It’s tiny beyond belief and engages the mind for a little more than three minutes! The attraction is difficult to find. 

After an average lunch we walked back to our hotel. Despite it raining for most of the time, the walk was quite lovely along the rugged coastline. 

G took two trips to a shop to buy some ‘must have pants’ she had spied yesterday, but alas Mondays were their day off. God knows what she will wear now. The wardrobe is bare. We are off to Bellagio tomorrow by bus then train. What could possibly go wrong?

Bellagio

With practice comes efficiency and perfection. This morning both came together so well we caught a bus and arrived on the correct platform at the rail station an hour and a bit early for our train!!

The next couple of hours we zoomed through multiple tunnels and the Italian countryside finally arriving at the Milan train station. Holy God, this place is a city unto itself. It’s massive. Finding our way out was a difficult assignment. Luckily we did so, landing not 30m from our driver waiting to take us to Bellagio. 

Giovanni was worth the price. Being a local to the Como, Lecco, Bellagio area, he gave us a history lesson, language lesson and quality tips for visits. 

The words “after this tunnel the road becomes very small. Small and curved. OK for me but not maybe for you”, had hardly left Giovanni’s lips and our day changed. 

A truck coming towards us and the taxi van in front of us realised they could not pass. What followed was a comedy. Our driver cursing the taxi driver ‘from Milano’ who can’t drive, followed by the mad scooter lady who overtook us almost head on into the truck, followed by her reversing almost hitting our car, the car in front reversing in zig zags; all the while our bloke out of the car trying to direct everyone. We could not have made this up. 

Finally underway the scooter lady in front of us was so bad at riding we all thought she would meet an imminent death. Not wishing to see that, Giovanni pulled an F1 overtaking manoeuvre like no other to set us free. 

Our hotel in Bellagio is stunning. We have our own three balconies and reading room overlooking Lake Como. The town is small but littered with dress, silk and handbag shops. For G things are not all bad. Tomorrow we head across the lake on the slow ferry that is apparently quicker than the fast ferry because it goes there direct. We are starting to learn how the Italians think.

Following a nice breakfast at our hotel, we headed off to the ferry intent on a leisurely cruise across to Varena. Truth was we mucked up our timings just a bit and found ourselves stepping on to the ferry at the last minute.

The 20 minutes on the lake revealed stunning scenery as the clouds put on one hell of a show against the mountains. 

Varena is spectacular. Simple as that. The buildings, the scenery and the apple cake are unmatched. Especially the apple cake!!

After spending most of the day there we lined up for our ferry ticket from Varena back home. You guessed it, we ended up running to jump on just as the boom gate started closing and the ramp started rising. We are getting really good at this.

Back at Bellagio we took advice on a dinner venue. It did not disappoint…..until. 

Peter, after four weeks of trying has finally nailed it with coffee. Order a macchiato and you get cup with a decent volume of usually like warm liquid pretending to be a decent coffee. Not tonight.

I think they mistook what was asked. The cup was the tiniest we have ever seen. Picture a toddlers tea set then halve it! We had no option but to laugh. Water is beginning to taste so good.

Waking up this morning we were convinced we would have to cancel our plans or just get wet; really wet. It was pouring rain. The clouds were sitting on the lake. The scenery had run to hide.

Putting on our big boy and girl pants we boarded the slow boat to Lenno via San Giovanni. As we bobbed along all was quite peaceful until the 1950s, drive in theatre, style speakers crackled to life at 3000 decibels. ‘San Giovanni, San Giovanni, San Giovanni’ they belted out. Well levitation is a thing. Everyone on the boat leapt off their seat. We suspect the apprentice copped a slap from the captain for that was the last time any stop was announced.

We guessed our stop well followed by trapsing 20 minutes up hill to the spectacular gardens of a villa formally owned by Italian mountaineer Mr Monzino. Other than wanting to poison the ‘teenage girl posing for a picture’ weed that popped up absolutely everywhere, we had a great time amongst stunning surroundings.

The visit chewed up a bit more time than expected, but did not stop us discovering one of the best lunch spots of our trip beside the lake.

With our plans to visit Villa Carlotta but 37 minutes’ walk away, we headed off. We found the villa, photographed the villa, oohed and aaahed at the Villa then boarded the boat for home. 

Not 5 minutes into the journey we pulled up at a ferry terminal directly outside Villa Carlotta!! We have no idea what the villa was we had visited earlier.

We headed home and up to a bag shop to grab a decent sling over for Peter. He will look might fancy in his jacket, boots and man bag back home. 

Tomorrow we ferry to Varena, then train to Milan for two days.

Milan

We packed early today. Indeed to ensure no running to catch the ferry, Peter went down early to the ticket office (the same one where we had previously obtained tickets for the same ferry) to grab tickets. In a truly Italian way he was told that we don’t sell those tickets here. You must go 200m to the other ticket office. Sometimes you just have to say thank you and move on.

We were way early for our train to Milan, finally jumping on board from a platform not more than a metre wide at Varena.

Milan train station was manic as usual, but we somehow chose the correct exit into the arms of a loverly honest taxi driver. 

Our afternoon was spent getting to know the area. We found some iconic buildings; dodged punters carrying brand name fashion bags and met a squirrel.

We figure we must be missing home just a bit as G mistook a bright red and yellow Lego carry bag for a Vegemite bag and got all excited!

Tomorrow we’ll have a look at the Cathedral nearby and put in a few foot miles discovering Milan.

Bit of a boring day today in Milan. An early morning walk, if 9am is early, revealed almost empty streets with not much happening. We visited another cathedral then another. Tried to get in to see The Last Supper but were about 6 months late with getting tickets. We started preparing for the trip home; packing what we could. We are going to try to drop in to the Duomo tomorrow. See how we go.

Well our last day in Italy was a pretty good one. We started with a visit to the Duomo mainly to take photos without crowds with the intention of later going to mass at 9.30. 

We saw a line up at the entrance so decided it was going to be a huge 9.30 turnout. We joined the line hoping our bladders would survive the cold wet day, 90 minute wait, then the Easter mass.

Luck was with us. We somehow joined an unadvertised early service. So got straight in and underway.

Being Catholics we pretty much knew the way things worked, although the church foundations trembled a bit as we entered for it had been a while for both of us. Thankfully the bloke in front of us was a polished regular so we just followed him as the only word we understood was Amen.

The entire magnificent structure was filled with ‘no photos’ signs yet at the conclusion of a beautiful service two people just had to chance their luck. Well Gods angles come in all forms. Filled with a fresh dose of goodness, today it was G!! In one swift move she slid through the crowd and stood steadfast directly in front of their cameras till the idiots finally realised they were dealing with a higher power and desisted.

We then headed west, or it could have been east, to see a canal. After 50 minutes of walking we realised we had failed as had Google so retreated as the rain came in. 

We scoffed a lunch at our now favourite restaurant before heading back to the hotel to finish packing . 

We again visited our favourite restaurant that sits beside a tram track. Apparently Milan are playing a game of football tonight so we witnessed tram after tram pull up so packed not one person could squeeze on. The one in the pic is the last one we saw, almost empty!

Our dinner was again great with our waiter telling us our order before we asked. He gave G an extra huge wine. Thankfully one she loved. Then made two of the best coffees of the trip on the house. Peter took one for the team drinking both (G hates coffee) to balance the books where the same happened with terrible wine in Cinque Terre and G had to drink both.

Can’t say we are looking forward to 24 hrs of travel, but home is going to be so sweet.

Fleeting trip to Portugal, June 2025

Fleeting trip to Portugal, June 2025

Getting there:

Well ,what a cracker start to our Portugal adventure. First the news the airport cues in Lisbon should be clear within two weeks. Yep straight from the mouth of the president. Can’t wait. Second apparently the locals are protesting about tourists. You guessed it, when we are there. Thankfully we will be out of the capital ,so the locals will love us. Now to the airport. Arrived way early to beat the crowds. Got our boarding passes but noticed the seats were not those we had paid a few extra quid for. Explanation; those are where the babies are, you are now down the back in the quiet area!! No you won’t be refunded because you were in an aisle seat, and you still are. Sometimes you just have to laugh and buy some duty free perfume. G has got these travel dilemmas sorted. Still the Qantas club has good food and fantastic coffee, so all is not bad. Can’t wait to board to see if my gut feeling about being next door neighbours to the toilets for a 14 hour flight is indeed on the money.

Arrived:

Wow, that was a long haul. We left Brisbane at 9pm Wednesday night and arrived in Lisbon about 12.30pm Thursday. Something like 24 or 25 hours all up. There is a very obvious reason they call Economy ‘Cattle Class’. By the time the plane has reached the great dividing range you feel like you’ve been mustered, wormed,  dipped, ear tagged and branded with the experience going downhill from there. Still the Emirates Tucker was plentiful and mostly pretty decent. We entertained ourselves catching on old movies and CNNs depiction of Donald making America great again. Sleep evaded us almost completely for the entire journey.

Every trip has its moments. And usually they involve sh.t magnet Peter. A humble stroll to the aircraft toilet revealed a bit of a line up, if three constitutes such a thing. One however, was a lady using her underwhelming leverage to try to open an access door near the kitchen and toilet. Being the good social citizen, Peter quietly informed her that the door was not that of the toilet and that the toilet was indeed occupied. Without escape of breath otherwise, she grabbed the hatch again saying she was looking for the door to get out! It was hard not to contemplate that had she been successful and plummeted the 30 odd thousand feet downwards, with her badly died red hair and mental state, drone warfare would have taken on a new perspective.

On the ground in Lisbon, with only one pushy passenger needing a lesson in patience getting off the plane, we were greeted with a sea of people waiting to get to, not through customs. Then a voice rang out announcing an Australian only line. Peeved would adequately describe some punters as we waltzed on by. Probably didn’t help, when questioned as to why, Peter informed the inquisitor it was because we were a better class of people.

We all fitted into the Mercedes van before whisking our way to our hotel. Needless to say this van did not have lane assist control. Our lovely driver spent most of his time straddling three or more lanes. We are all walking zombies but apparently tonight is when Lisbon starts to party, so we may drag ourselves out for a bit.

Lisbon for the first time:

We crawled out of bed like meth addicted sloths ready to attack Lisboa. Reality hit ,so we attacked a pretty decent hotel breakfast with Kerry and James. Now fuelled, we headed off in the general direction of the town castle using the line of sight app. On the way we saw a group of police officers looking resplendent beside a police bike looking otherwise. Deciding a nostalgic photo was imminent Peter headed over to ask for same. Within 10 metres of target he recognised a look on their faces he had  experienced himself a thousand times when serving. ‘Here comes some spanker tourist, would be if he could be, looking for a picture with my bike’. The defences dropped when they learned Peter’s past and chat progressed. Photo taken we marched on up.

The streets got narrower, before arriving at an almost empty castle. We roamed around with the majority of the company being peacocks. After clambering the walls, we headed down and around, finding Lisboa Cathedral, Lisboa Church and Lisboa some other religious building. All stunning in their own right. We ended up seaside, argued with google to find the Stetson shop to buy a cap and learn of their history in Portugal. The short story involves a rich old man, a young beautiful woman and a few cowboy hats. Funnily enough we were told the massive world-wide sales boost for the company recently was due to some folk singer called Taylor Swift slapping one her head. Every girl now wants one.

Our afternoon included a nap followed by drinks with Kerry and James until we began shivering in the cold. We headed home, stalling only to watch the show where you could win 50 euro if you could dead hang from an overhead bar for 2 minutes. Peter wondered but realised his best was about 30 seconds short to claim the prize. A quick pizza and we were done.

Off to Alcobaca:

Sleeping in a bit this morning, we slid down four floors to a latish breakfast at the hotel. Bacon and eggs done, we headed out for a walk along the foreshore of Lisbon Harbour. Turning right we encountered the Lisbon running club, running. It appeared everyone young fit person in Portugal had found the least restrictive outfit in which to pound the pavement. There was more flesh and muscle rippling and bouncing than reasonably imaginable, yet we battled on undeterred.

As time and distance wore on we came to the graffiti district that morphed to the night club district that morphed to the time to turn back district. At 10am the tattooed security at the nightclub looked like he had fought a few bad wars and won most singlehandedly!! We wondered how many bodies had had tossed into the bay over his time.

Back in downtown Lisbon G dress shopped, Peter got offered marijuana for a good price and the crowds built up. A nice pizza for lunch was followed by a decent bus trip to Alcobaca where we met our accommodation for the next few days. Well ‘holy old monastery Batman’ this place smokes. Stunning is the only word. To top it off we have a piano and string band just outside our window tuning up for a performance tonight. Not much to whinge about. We plan dinner at the hotel tonight as tomorrow the conference starts.

Alcobaca and ‘that’ conference!

Well what a day. No one could ever make this stuff up. The morning was pretty normal for travellers, with us having a scrumptious breakfast before wandering into the town centre. Being Sunday it was interesting that a lot of the shops were open. To top it off the entire town square was covered by an old style market where people try to sell absolute crap at a nostalgic price.

In time Peter eyed off a fancy watch in a legitimate store so added that to the collection. We walked into an alcove just outside the Opera Cafe to be greeted by a well-known singer who promptly belted out a couple of tunes. Amazing stuff. After lunch Peter headed to his Alcohol and Drug Conference with the UniSC team. The promised shuttle bus failed in its attempts to visit our location so two taxis were the order of the day. Actually it was one taxi spun twice as the second didn’t turn up.

At the conference we learned Germany has new drug driving laws whereby you get arrested if you haven’t taken you medicinal marijuana and are found driving. Novel if not stupid!! But the ‘I can’t believe I just heard that’ moment went to the conference chair. With the program closing for the day, she announced that Alcobaça was a sustainable city so we could walk back to the town, but a mere 25 minutes away. The shuttle bus was still in hiding!! All we could do was laugh. Again we had a decent dinner at our hotel in preparation for a long hike to the conference tomorrow morning.

Without doubt this one will go down as the conference  of the century. Sans shuttle bus yet again, we hoofed it in the morning heat to the venue the 9am start. With no sign of urgency taking any part in today’s events, the stage burst into life at precisely 9.27am. The official opening ceremony welcome to country was a random lady saying, “ok, let’s go”. What followed was a mismatch of snippets from things to do and see in Alcobaca. At one stage a very well dressed lady appeared on stage for no good reason before singing an angelic version of Hallelujah, followed by an equally stunning rendition of my favourite Portuguese song. Then, things changed. The head honcho struggled to stage providing I’m not sure what, to the extent I thought she may have been demonstrating lived experience as to the conference themes of drugs and alcohol!

With morning sessions over we found ourselves locked out of morning tea with the security footprint continuing at lunch. The afternoon dragged on in the uncomfortable heat as the aircon bravely fought all comers in an effort to not work. Finally an acid bath beckoned back at the hotel offering far greater attraction than remaining in place. A group dinner downtown went off a treat with Manuel the third making our night a comedy show.   Would not have missed it for quids.

Out of bed early today Peter headed to the hotel gym again having to raise the concierge to open up. Again his infatuation with all things dangerous kangaroos was at the head of conversation.

With the shuttle bus now apparently parked up for good, a few of us headed off to the conference in the hot sun. G remained in bed preparing for a torturous day of shopping ahead.

Bucking the trend, the conference ran pretty well today. Starting not more than 45 mins late, the program stumbled along with the precision of an overweight wombat. 

Just when our confidence was high, Gregoir and Peter decided to grab a conference coffee. Being a French coffee connoisseur Gregoir selected a tiny somethingorother and began sipping. Peter, desperate for a decent swig asked for a large coffee. He even used his hands to demonstrate how big. The lady delivered. A tiny Gregoir size coffee in a big cup!! All we could do was laugh. 

Our afternoon was enlightening in an alcohol  and drug sort of way before we headed back to the hotel. Most of the team hit the hay early for it has been two days of brain drain with another yet to come.

Gs day was mostly spent visiting the monastery in town followed by a massage. She is struggling poor thing.

The last day of the conference arrived with the morning walk to same being in cooler temperatures. We arrived to one of the event volunteers playing the piano and singing beautifully. Just when we were immersing ourselves in her tunes the main event started on time for the first time!!!

After a quality presentation by an Australian road safety advocate we were met with morning tea. 

Today, as a fully-fledged member of team Hanna, Peter was in no mood to take another coffeegate in his stride. Hanna muscled up, marched forward and asked nicely for a coffee. The lady’s hand extended in majestic slow motion selecting a large takeaway cup. She proceeded to at least half fill with liquid gold. Before she could fully set it down on the counter Peter blurted out, “I’ll have what she had”. All was good in the world as we took our positions for the remaining sessions. 

At about 1pm Peter and G bid good day to the crew who climbed aboard the shuttle bus back to Lisbon. 

G rested. Peter did his tour of the monastery. Simply gob smacking is the only way to describe it. Indeed it would have been truly fantastic had he not had to share the experience with 71 school children; each fully committed to learning the history of their precious town. 

We had dinner at our now favourite restaurant enjoying the activities surrounding us in the twilight. Despite our best efforts to distance ourselves after our recent encounters in Italy, Manuel caught up with us again. 

We headed back to the hotel grateful we had experienced this incredible town and its people. We may even be back.

Back to Lisbon – Round Two:

We bid farewell to our beautiful Alcobaca Hotel and town.  Not without some sadness as it had been a wonderful place. The trip to Lisbon was uneventful save the smog hanging over the city . Frankly the air quality was rotten. Our afternoon was spent doing not much prior a lovely dinner and a random meeting with a massive Pride concert in the middle of town. The party atmosphere contrasted an increasingly angry police officer trying to direct absolute spoons who were hell bent on disobeyed a traffic sign. Peter felt for him. It appears European idiots are akin to those back home.

Today we were off by 8.30 with our guide Medi on a private tour. We headed southish to Cascais. This place is for the rich and maybe famous. One vehicle dealership we passed had Bentley, Mercedes, Porsche and Range Rover. The town had Southerby’s, and every other store G knew. 

We then headed to the western most point in Europe; so long as you use a globe. Apparently if you lie a map flat Britain takes the claim. Either way we figured if you jumped you’d get wet.

Thankfully our day looked up from there. We lobbed up at Quinta Da Regaleira being pretty much the birthplace of Knights Templar, or the earliest version of one of the two streams of the Freemasons we know these days. In a truly fantastic tour we got to see secret tunnels, the initiation well (a 27 m high dry well where newbies were told to jump or they were expelled. Flinch and you were out. Apparently they never let you jump but just wanted to test your mettle) and even the grandmaster’s chair. Funnily enough the symbol for the grandmaster is ‘G’. 

The afternoon was lunching in Sintra and whipping around Pena Palace which was about a 4.3 on the international ‘will I visit again’ scale.

Back at the hotel we reflected on a great day and thanked the lord for arriving safely as, whilst Medi was an amazing guide, he was possibly the worst driver in all of the Kingdom of Portugal.

Special Pride Edition 

We headed out to dinner, each grabbing a less than lovely crumbed chicken and salad. We followed it with a couple of Portuguese tarts before heading home. As we approached the big square with King soandso on his horse overlooking proceedings, we realised the Portugal Pride event was again in full swing. This night however, we spent more than a wee while, as a live band called ‘The Black Mambas’ was playing. They were brilliant. No other description necessary. The lead singer was a standout only outdone by old mate on the electronic flute. To top off the night G met a few characters, with only the night chill sending home. Our luck in stumbling across random stuff was with us again.

Without a formal plan today, we relaxed over a hotel breakfast before wandering towards our first tram ride in Portugal. Grabbing the tram was no dramas but we still have no idea if we paid, how much we paid or if it’s on a timer and we are still paying. In the end we followed the locals and probably didn’t pay….maybe.

On our list was a must do visit to the Berlin Tower. Not sure why but it could not be overlooked. Upon arrival we did see a tower. A tower completely encased in scaffolding and nylon mesh. Our disappointment was lessened by watching bus after bus of people on a formal tour turning up for a look. 

Also on the list was a visit  to the famed Jeronos Monestary. We stood aghast as the line to get in was over 200m long; in both directions. We agreed we’d seen too many monasteries anyway. We settled for visiting the monument to sailors overlooking the water. This was a stunning bit of sculpture being both massive and intricate. It just happens to be near the inbound flight path, so Peter played with a bit creative photography seeing if he could make it look like the planes were about to crash into the monument.

With one last must do, we dropped over to the best tart shop in all of Portugal to join the line and purchase the second best tarts in all of Portugal!! We had a pensioners dinner (very early and shared one dish) before getting a front row for the  Pride march. Expecting a show equal to the Sydney event of like nature, we were sadly disappointed by what was almost as good as the Easter in the Country parade at Roma on a wet day. Funnily enough Peter was asked if they would see him in Amsterdam in 2026. He assured that would be a good possibility!

Our last day as tourists in Portugal started with a 20 minute walk up the Liberade to the meeting point for an 8 person tour of Fatima, Nazare and Obidos. We were teamed with four English Asians who were as funny as hell, and a German psychologist. 

The hour drive to Fatima was uneventful, save Matty the driver droning on about Kings and Queens from a fair while ago. We did note that as far as Fatima is concerned the 13th of May and its October equivalent are very special dates. 

Not sure what we expected, but Fatima is basically a cathedral that is relatively new by European standards, surrounded by a low set very new open air church amidst about 30 acres of bitumen designed to hold about 60,000 when the pilgrimage is in full swing. We witnessed true believers marching on their knees down a 200m pathway to ask for favours. G took one look and decided they were going to slow for her so tried to figure out how she would pull an overtaking manoeuvre if she joined the party.

Navare is where world’s biggest waves roll in. Surfers from around the globe congregate to take on these monsters. Truth is that the waves occur only on every second Wednesday of every third month in leap years that have snowfall. Frankly it appears they are so absent we’re thinking the surf boards belonging to legends of the sea on display, maybe a bit of BS. I you believe it a German bloke holds the record for taming a 93 foot wave. 

The afternoon was spent at the tiny town of Obidos known for its cherry liquor and weird people. Apparently the liquor never goes off with a recent opening on a 1919 bottle going down quite well. Being a walled town, we immediately headed for a lap on top of the walls. Different to most, this was a stone path about a metre wide up to 30 metres above the earth with a wall on only one side. We crab walked our way around for half an hour, hanging on to the wall with anything we had. It was just outrightly bloody scary. We were almost going to drop to our knees and ask for favours!!

Back at the hotel we are pretty much packed for the 24 hours of torture ahead us on the flights home tomorrow.

Getting back home:

11.36 pm and we are on the ground in Brisbane. What a drag the last 25 hours have been. Arrived way early at Lisbon airport to not find any check in points for Emirates. Finally figured the check signs randomly change as the next flight is open for check-in. So any isle can change to any breed at any time! 

Well if you think the Middle East spat is not having an effect, you are so wrong. We finally got through all the security at Lisbon and into a pre boarding secure area. All passengers were then hunted out for about 45 minutes then re checked. We left Lisbon about 75 minutes late. Then our flight path dipped way low for obvious reasons. Although Peter did wonder if they were min min lights or their middle eastern cousins streaking across the sky. 

We got to Dubai las ate as hell, having just 20 minutes to get off, catch a train and board our next flight. Then, given security ,Peter got a full bomb/drug scan!!

The 14 hours home was uneventful. We are dead in the water with nothing left in the tank.

Hi I’m Scarlet. Glad to meet you.

Since 2013 I had not need for a personal motorbike. Fact is, in that year I sold my beloved Triumph 1050 ST, replacing it with an incredibly reliable Hyundai i30 for Genevieve to scoot around the city in.

My lack of need related to having access to a work bike upon which I did almost 1000km per week until my retirement in late 2024. The lack of need to pay for fuel, tyres or servicing was also more than welcome. Still, when retirement day came and went the need for two wheels became very real.

Yes, I looked at Harleys thinking the extensive community around that marque may be attractive. I looked at BMWs. Rode one; hated it. Drooled over another, found out the price; hated it. Researched the hell out of a Suzuki GSXS1000GT and thought long and hard.

The dealership was next level fantastic. Not having the exact bike I wanted, they let me test ride two of its siblings in different guises with the words, ‘take as long as you like’. So I did.

The motor was sublime. No, more than that. It was sublime with horsepower. Lots of horsepower. It made the work bike look slow. It handled. It stopped. It looked the goods. I was sold.

A couple of weeks later Scarlet arrived. Deep red and just stunning, no other name would suffice. Whilst we haven’t ventured far yet, she is the perfect travel companion. The age old cringe-worthy saying that the bike was an extension of my mind, is not far off the money. I merely think about railing a corner and she responds. The excitement of riding has returned in bucket loads. I look forward to heaps more adventures.

Scarlet is a keeper!!

Granny undies from now on……….. G-String’s gone!!

A belated post at best. A very long overdue one is a better description. Despite the time lag the news is still somewhat sad.

Yes, you heard it here first; G-String is gone. Our single axle, go anywhere, mostly fantastic Zone caravan has moved on to new owners. The decision was not an easy one, yet it was a necessary one. As retirement approached towards the end of 2024, we re-evaluated our travel plans figuring overseas for the next couple of years was the best option.

Along with that was the sensible consideration that no good piece of machinery survives well sitting idle. So with some trepidation we sent G-String off on new adventures.

For over 30,000 km she had served us well. Dutifully following firstly Puma, then Panther wherever we pointed them. No dirt road was too much of a challenge, no cold or hot out of the way destination too much of a chore. She had been a faithful servant for over three years.

Good bye old friend. Maybe we will meet again on the road someday.

Making miles and almost dead

Day Twenty Two, Three and Four: Middleton to Home

If the Middleton sunsets are outstanding, we’re not sure how to describe the sunrises. Devoid of afternoon haze, the pure morning air bathed in deep orange light punctuated only by the silhouette of a windmill, is Australia at its best.

After enjoying the cool morning air we mounted up to head into Winton to have a look at the new (new to us) Waltzing Matilda Centre. The trip in over a couple of hours was brilliant. With countryside changing almost as often as roos, emus, wild pigs popping up to say g’day, it was never boring.

Arriving at Winton, we fuelled and headed to the centre. After handing over $38 each we entered with great expectations. We had previously visited here a couple of times prior to the old centre succumbing to a fire a few years ago. Back then we loved it for its good Aussie content and authenticity. What it lacked in flashiness was its strong point.

Well if ever there was a case of some loony from the big smoke stuffing up a good thing, this was it. The centre was full of everything but authentic Waltzing Matilda material. At one point we stood with a group of others inside a curtain like structure trying to see a light show about a dust storm. Not only was it almost impossible to see, but it was also obvious the fool who designed it had never had a speck of dust on their boot let alone been in a decent storm! We left extremely disappointed and $76 per couple poorer.

On we went to Longreach. The 175 or so ks was frankly pretty boring. The roads were good, the road trains interesting and that’s about it.

We settled into the Longreach Caravan Park for the afternoon. After a few chores, we were joined by Billy the Brolga who hung around for ages looking for as sucker to give him some food. ‘The Branch’ was our choice for dinner. What a splendid little restaurant this is. With the food making some of the coastal and city offerings look pretty average, we ate heartily. Billy would have loved it.

G and Peter planned to head off reasonably early the next morning, so an early night was in order.

Breakfast was nearly as good as the previous dinner and also at The Branch. By 7.50 they were on the road having said good-byes to Richard and Denise who were staying another day or so.

The plan was to get to Bauhinia Downs on a good run and maybe Moura on a fantastic run. With only one option in Peter’s mind, Panther was instructed that this was not an economy drive. She dug deep from the get-go with the speedo nudging 100 all the way. G-String understood, strapped in tight and clung on.

We flew through Barcaldine and Jericho before fuelling at Alpha. Next stop was Springsure for fuel and lunch. No not just lunch. The worst toasted ham cheese and tomato sandwich and bacon and egg sandwich money could possibly buy. With tomato still cold, cheese not melted and ham next to frozen it was pure hell. We did not have time to whinge for a better offering as Moura was now firmly achievable.

Out of Bauhinia with 76ks to go we were motoring along nicely through some hills. For a second Peter could not make sense of the picture ahead. He could see a van in front and was catching it fast. Way too fast. Then all become deadly clear. What he could see was the top of a van on the other side of the crest but could not see the tow vehicle, for it was much lower. The entire unit was coming directly at us on the wrong side of the road, overtaking over the crest of the hill, and fast.

Panther buried into the bitumen under hard brakes as Peter jagged left the few feet available before a ditch spelled major crash. G-String all but disappeared into the rear of Panther with the full expectation she would leave some significant skid marks. The car being overtaken managed some braking and a sidestep left to allow just enough room for the idiot in his 79 series ute, towing a dual axle van, to angle between us at speed.

It’s not often Peter or G get flustered on the road. This one was different. It was close. Really close! And to rub salt into the wound, old mate in his 79 gave us a friendly wave. Not an ‘I’m sorry I almost killed you’ wave, rather a ‘how are you mate’ wave. He was lucky we had nowhere to turn around for he would have found his lodgings for the night included a hard bench to sleep on and an iron gate for a door.

Not long after we came up behind a road train hauling cotton. Initially Peter was trying to figure out how to get around him to keep the average up. It was not necessary. We will never know what engine was in that thing but once he had seen us he parked his right foot against the firewall and motored. Only one hill of mountainous proportions slowed him down. All others we just bumps in the road as his speed matched ours easily. It was entertainment plus.

Moura for the night in the Apex park was a treat. Just us and a few others in a huge paddock for a donation of $5 each. Adding to the experience was a decent sunset and an all-night symphony of V8 79 series Toyotas accelerating out of the mining camp opposite! What’s not to like?

Moura to home was uneventful save a stop at Kilkivan to have lunch and catch up with our good friend Katie. With G-String parked up we reversed into the home garage with a sense of relief. Our experience with our good friends had been amazing. We had loved re-visiting the country we hold dear to re-kindle memories and make a few more.

Bring on the next adventure.

Cracking sunsets and elusive eagles

Day Twenty and Twenty-One: Around Mt Isa and Mt Isa to Middleton

This one is best kept short to let the pictures do the talking.

Friday was spent in and around Mt Isa. Highlights included an underground mine tour for Denise and Richard, although it was not quite the real thing, and a visit to the Granites for our whole group, including Emma our tour guide.

We could go on about it, but at the end of the day the granites are mesmerising rock formations just south of Mt Isa that take on spectacular colours at sunset.

After a Buffs Club feed, we took a couple of night photos of the famed Mt Isa mine then hit the hay.

Saturday was the almost 500 km drive from Mt Isa to Middleton Pub via Dajarra and Boulia. Dajarra held us up for about half an hour as we had a coffee and a chat to a couple of the locals Peter and Genevieve knew many years ago when they lived there.

We reached Boulia 300km after leaving and after trying in unsuccessfully to get a good picture of a wedgetail eagle. The eagles out this way are massive majestic creatures. They have absolutely no trust in a car and caravan pulling up nearby so make their way for the nearest tree as quick as possible.

At Boulia we said our goodbyes to Ron and Julie for they were heading to Birdsville. The last 200 km to Middleton was a drag however the changing countryside made for a quality drive despite the inherent lack of anything but elusive eagles, cattle and spinifex. The Middleton Hotel however was at its best. Great food and a sunset to die for.

Cars attacking from behind…….and that bloody coffee van

Day Eighteen and Nineteen: Normanton to Mt Isa.

Waking up to a Normanton sunrise will go down pretty well on the list of top eight things to do at Normanton. Freshly cool, we noticed there were no croc drag marks on the ground near our vans and that the tyres were all tooth mark free.

Peter and G headed into town to the tin shed marked up as the best coffee shop in town. Perhaps this was an historic site, for although the blackboards outside told of amazing coffee and other associated treats, there was no one at home. Finally after 6.3 laps to the main street they located a little gold mine.

The arguably tumbled down, let’s say, weathered with memories, Central Hotel, was serving fantastic coffee, quality tea and a really decent bacon and egg muffin. Our thanks go out to the greedy lady before us who bought all the pre-made offerings meaning ours were fresh from the pig and chook.

A look around revealed the hotel apparently served drinks, hot food, good times and as a special treat, an impending table tennis tournament. Briefly we imagined the honour of holding the Far Northwest Qld doubles championship title, however thought others with greater skill may be more likely to take out that coveted prize.

Whilst breakfasting we noticed a high-vis man taking pics of Panther and G-String parked in a side street. Briefly, as the car was impinging on a white line just a bit, Peter thought it may be the Far North Qld Parking Police setting the scene prior an expected influx for the big tournament, but it turned out to be a fellow Landrover lover having never seen a Discovery towing a van this far away for a mechanic before. We chatted all things Landrover, shared our travel website address, and went our separate ways.

After a bit our full crew gathered before heading ever south towards the Burke and Wills Roadhouse, then Cloncurry. With no towns in between, the first almost 200km was filled with listening to music on its 43rd cycle around the clock from our limited selection and avoiding ballistic missiles approaching from behind.

It may have been that Peter had not looked in his mirror for a bit too long, or it may have been his head was just in a fully relaxed position up his backside, but his instruction to G was clear. “Can you call that bloke behind us on the radio and ask if he wants to come past.” I’ll pull off if he does. Peter had seen a car behind them that in his mind had approached quickly and looked as if it need to get to its destination with more haste than he.

“That car behind the Zone caravan. If you are on the radio, do you want to get past?” Silence. Then from Richard, “Was that you Gen?” “Just calling the car behind the Zone, do you want to come past?” G replied.

The mirth in Richards voice could hardly be contained; “That’s us.” It would appear that Peter had mistaken Richard and Denise’s car and van for a sedan in the mirror despite the fact they had been there for nearly 120km.  Needless to say Peter learnt for some kilometres, without much credible defence, what and idiot he was.

We stopped at Burke and Wills Roadhouse after a couple of hours for a bite, pee and a go at the defibrillator after seeing the fuel price. We noticed that Australian staff, as at most outback service businesses, were few and far between, with an Asian-Canadian lass travelling lite, or least without her bra as she wobbled her way out to serve our pies.

Headed south again we made good time to Cloncurry, passing through Quamby, noting the pub was for sale. Fuelled up, we did the 50 or so km to Corella Dam, our destination for the night.

The site selection process took on new heights, depths and lengths this day. Finally after about half an hour we settled right beside the lake in a next to perfect spot. Denise whipped up a spanking cheese platter whilst Richard set a magnificent fire. Our day was completed with a sunset over the lake.

Rising not too early we mounted up and headed into Mt Isa. The road in, having been travelled way too many times over the years, is still picturesque. We dropped into the old Mary Kathleen township that used to service the Mary Kathleen uranium mine. What is left is not much but concrete slabs. The visit was definitely worth it however, to understand what a bustling community this once was. Leaving the area glowing with information, we arrived shortly after in the big city. Upon entry, not more than 326 metres from the town limits, there it was. That bloody resplendent Coffee Van!!. We are truly haunted.

Going largely our separate ways to do house keeping things, we spent the afternoon reacquainting ourselves with where things were in the town. As often happens, we met a police officer we knew from 20 odd years ago and chatted for a while.

Richard and Denise caught up with Richard’s daughter, Emma, at the famed Buffs Club as did Peter and G.

Our afternoon back at the van was relaxed looking at the changing reds upon the huge rock behind the van park as the sun said good-bye to another day.

Haunted by a coffee van

Day Seventeen : Cobbold Gorge To Normanton

Getting away just a bit earlier than planned we attacked the 40 ks of dirt to the turnoff to Georgetown just out of Forsayth. Well we attacked with as much vigour as we could still getting mowed down by a briskly driven Kenworth, and not long after by a revved up local hitting every 60th corrugation in his Hyundai excel.

It’s funny how the memory fades over time and adds bits that really aren’t true. So it was with Georgetown. We remembered it a s a beautifully kept little town with a great shop and a wonderful park. Ron remembered it had great sausages at the butcher shop.

Reality was it is a dusty little place with one shop worthy of the shop designation, and we haven’t got a ruling on the sausages yet. We spotted a coffee van resplendent in its livery but alas it might as well have been a signpost, as it had nought but a driver.

We fuelled and turned towards Normanton some 300 ks to the westish. Just as we got underway, the brakes on the right side of Richard and Denise’s’ van locked on, leaving a cracker of a skid mark on the road in downtown Georgetown. A well-seasoned hoon would have had a challenge matching it.

After a bit of electrical guesswork we moved a few things, wriggled another and said a prayer to the voltage gods before hitting the road. The combined effort must have worked as it did not play up again all day.

We got off the road for a committed, yet very polite tour truck driver who overtook us and continued on as did the same resplendent coffee van. We did not get off the road for POP (Pensioner on Patrol) in the red bongo van who reckoned his real-estate was indeed ours. His gesture to us as we passed was interpreted as ‘hello, I love your Zone van’ although the positioning of his fingers may have suggested otherwise.

Croydon was next at about the halfway point. It was everything Georgetown wasn’t. It had a lovely little park, a decommissioned Police watchhouse doubling as a doghouse for two beautiful Labradors who, like their owner, were waiting for their new hose to be completed before moving in; and a café.

The café was complete in all respects. Serving mostly servo food with an Asian twist, it was only challenged in unique things to talk about by the funny little man with a long beard, very short T-shirt, suspenders and a potty little gut hanging over his belt. Like the coffee van, he turned up everywhere.

We had a feed under the umbrella near the pub before heading off again. On the outskirts of town we located a coffee trailer with twocustomers evident. One was the local police officer and the other was the driver of the Georgetown coffee van!!! We figured the Croydon coffee was fantastic or the coffee van coffee was crap……or both!

One lane bridges, big rivers, transparent Brolgas (G and Peter didn’t see them whilst everyone else did) and a few random roos filled out the afternoon as the road got better and straighter. By about two and a bit we rolled into Normanton. We fuelled up, watched the lady with her van almost wipe out the bowsers then had a look at the Purple Pub and the huge model croc. G and Peter reminisced about their dog Jarra sitting in the mouth of the croc more than 20 years ago. Julie did the same, but it was her in the crocs mouth back then. We recreated the moment for Julie but did not have a spare dog on hand for the full re-enactment.

We noticed that Normanton has had some major money spent on infrastructure over years including a spanking Christian College but still needed three working hotels to service a mere 1300 residents. Its thirsty work in the north. And it had the same bloody coffee van!

We found our camping spot in the heat just north of the town towards Karumba. Once set up, we sat beside the river at a croc safe distance and yarned. Well we yarned and watched fisherman Ron put on a masterclass. Literally every time he cast he hauled back in a lure! To make this class outstanding he demonstrated how to cast into a tree, snag a lure on the bank and lose one, only to find it at his feet. We were blessed.

Julie and Denise excelled again. Their combined pasta effort was delicious at the top end of the scale, leaving us full and contented, ready to enjoy a magnificent sunset over a croc infested river. Taking photos was a balance of getting close to the water but making sure a safety tree was between us and anything with nasty teeth.

The long day in the saddle had left us beaten and ready for bed.

A walk and not much else

Day Sixteen : Cobbold Gorge

Not so early this morning Peter and G headed off on a promised adventure, taking on two of the Cobbold walking tracks. With but a few geographical mistakes they managed to finish the Diggers Track and Dell’s Track with but a wet shoe when Peter may have almost fallen into the creek getting ‘that shot’ for this blog!

For the remained of the day each of us set about fixing the things that needed fixing, looking at the things that needed a look at and soaking up the sun and a well-earned rest day whilst taking the opportunity to pat any dog that happened to pass within 200 metres. Julie, Ron, Richard and Denise headed out to the quartz blow for a look returning not underwhelmed yet not disappointed.

Julie dropped around to advise she was cooking damper for lunch. Sorry have to stop typing now. If Julie is cooking, we’ve got to go!

Back on deck after a wonderful damper full of really nice stuff, we lazed away the afternoon before gathering for dinner at the on-site restaurant. The food was pretty good as was the conversation that covered everything from the Olympics, to overflowing and exploding caravan toilets, all whilst we munched on crumbed steak, lamb chops and lasagne.

Tomorrow we hit the road again for about 350 ks to reach Normanton.

A boat, a walk and a helicopter

Day Fifteen : Cobbold Gorge

Just before sunrise Peter and Denise headed off into the hills on the 4.5km Russell’s Lookout walk. So named as a bloke called Stuart Russell used to hang about in the area in about 1898. This one headed up and continued up. It was nothing too challenging until the last 800 metres where some scrambling shoes were needed. Not sure what old Stuart was on about, but the lookout at the top was essentially closed in by trees not permitting any expected sunrise perfect vistas.

Back down the hill for breakfast and the crew gathered for the long awaited gorge tour. We joined about 50 our closest friends on three buses before heading the few short km across the Robertson river sand bed gathering again at a big shed.

Our group of 14 were guided by a young British bloke called Rob. Given he had been born and bred in these parts for at least the two months he did a pretty decent job of explaining the ins and outs of how Cobbold Gorge was created, found and managed. He also espoused his vast knowledge of the flora and fauna around although had to admit the numbered yellow disc markers on the ground were reminders to him to stop and explain something or other. It was so tempting to mix them up and have him detail the taste and uses of the deadly red thing instead of the husky brown thing, but someone might have died as ‘Red is Dead’ is the rule of the bush.

The boat ride the little unstable electric boat for the length of the gorge highlighted Rob’s navigational skills…..absolutely none. We bounced and scraped our way up between ever narrowing cliffs till we could go no more. Along the way we learnt heaps about the gorge, looked at spiders, moss, and other creatures. On cue, Julie dropped her steel water bottle on the floor of the aluminium boat sending most of us sky high in fright before settling into a nervous laughter only those about to capsize understand.

The return trip revealed a couple of freshwater crocs sunning themselves on the banks of the gorge as well as a low speed passing manoeuvre as another boat came out way.

It was our turn to walk next. We climbed along and up the side of the gorge, stopping every now and then to examine sandpaper trees, some other tree bearing fruit that tasted like microwaved poo and little flowers that smelt like Dettol.

The crowning glory, however, was walking across the glass bridge directly above the gorge. Costing about $1million a few years back the bridge spans 13 metres with a direct downward view into the gorge below. We donned our surgical shoe covers, to stop scratching the surface, then marched out into the middle putting out height fears aside just long enough to grab a photo and scamper to the other side.

Our return trip was via the northern side of the gorge with entertainment provided by two little kids, Ollie and Ollie’s brother. Their insights made the tour an outstanding event. Back at the bus, we returned to Cobbold Village unscathed.

In the afternoon Richard and Denise jumped in a beautiful black helicopter for a ride over the gorge and its surrounds. Returning they were beaming as the trip was the icing on the cake for the Cobbold visit.

Our afternoon was spent catching up doing not a lot of much. Mainly we prepared for one of Julie’s feasts. And what a feast it was. She cooked dumplings on top of scrumptious stuff in the camp oven that made the mouth water. As usual we talked, laughed and defended the unfounded allegations of snoring levelled at Ron and Peter by G and Julie.